Neil Gaiman: Neverwhere Gaiman's 1st full length novel reads like a dream. A story about London Above and London Below, if you have ever lived in the city, you would get this book.
I reserve the right to remove comments that I find too personal, inappropriate and/or likely to have me eating chicken curry for two years. I also assert all my rights folks.
Ever since we've moved to our new home, I've noticed a pair swallows flying about during the day and returning in the evening to settle in the eaves of our garage. They used to have a tiny bird's nest but that nest have fallen a few months back. Now they huddle together at night, surrounded by lizards, who gets a bit too close but don't seem to bother them.
Last Saturday I spotted just the lone bird sleeping under our eaves. Upset that our swallow seemed to have lost its mate, for the past few days I've been moaning to Bobby, "It's a sign! It's a sign!!. Poor Bob couldn't make head or tail of it, now getting used to having a drama queen for a wife. So he was happy to report today there were the two of them again happily nestling in our garage. I must say I have a rather romantic view of the swallows than say, Kantalensa, who licks his lips and thinks of soup when he sees his resident's birdnest.
[I subscribe to BlogHer, the community for women who blog. I know that seems a cliche but no man woman is an island. Anyway, their monthly newsletter alerted me to a community essay written by several members titled 'A Letter To Your Body'. I thought I'd do mine here.]
Dear Body,
Its been almost 6 months since you have given birth. That's not a very long time ago, considering you were growing another person in your womb for 9 months. But according to some people, you should have lost that thickened waist, fat ass, big arms and shrunk back to your pre-pregnancy weight by now. In fact, the same people suggests that you hold a JUMBLE SALE and sell off your old clothes, cos baby, it looks like you're NEVER gonna lose that weight. Its a pity that you are not an over-achiever when it comes to exercise and dieting but is one when it comes to all things frivilous. Like finishing Call of Duty on the xbox in 2 days. Or honing the ability to memorise songs in 2 shakes of a duck's tail.
So listen up. We have a beach holiday to go to in 3 weeks time. That's 21 days to get your ass in beach body beautiful shape, buddy. It seems like a tall order I know, but we must at least try. Because if not, go ahead wave the white flag and buy clothes A SIZE LARGER...'sup to you.
Now the boob area we can do with a size larger.
Cheerios and rice krispies,
Emma xx
Ps/ Because I am thinking about eating mini Cornettos, if all else fails I have Plan B: Strategically placed sarongs.
Brunei gained full independence and sovereignty on the 1st of January 1984, and we celebrated our first National Day on the 23rd of February 1984.
I was a student of Sekolah Tinggi Perempuan Raja Isteri sitting north west of the Royal Dais with my schoolmates on the benches of the Brunei National Stadium. Most of the schools in Brunei were asked to participate in the National Day, so weeks before the event my classmates and I got ready the yellow straw pompoms for our grandstand show (we were the yellow bits of the Brunei Flag). We made the pompoms ourselves, using a fork to "brush" through the straw until it became suitably bushy. We attended several rehearsals prior to the day, sitting in the hot sun and practising waving our pompoms wildly when we were told too. Some students had flash cards, others had umbrellas and there were those who did the field performances.
[Incidentally, nothing much has changed for a government school student since those days, although nowadays National Day is celebrated at the Taman Haji Sir Muda Omar Ali Saifuddin, the "padang" (or field) in the center of town.]
What do I remember of that day in February 1984? I remember the King of Tonga and his bespoked BIG chair. I remember watching students faint on the field and seeing the Red Cross rushing to them carrying stretchers. I remember a young Prince Charles without his Lady Diana (how disappointed we all were when she couldn't come due to her pregnancy). I remember too, His Majesty's speech, especially when he said:
It is my earnest wish to see the development programs, including the provision of land and housing for my landless native Subjects, carried out with greater vigour and enthusiasm to enable my people to enjoy a progressively higher standard of living. And as oil and gas are depleting assets it is my desire to see Brunei Darussalam's oil production maintained at a more rational level in keeping with the need to prolong the prosperity now enjoyed by my people. At the same time I would like to see her overseas investments to be more efficiently managed while efforts at economic diversification be further intensified. In these endeavors as Head of State, as well as Head of Government, I shall spare no effort in working for the benefit of my people.
Happy Independence Day everyone.
Ps/ 24 years later and I am a contented old bird. Brunei has a thriving land and housing scheme for its citizens. We do fairly well with our investments overseas. We enjoy the advantages (and disadvantages) of being in an oil rich country. But we are still so dependent of the black gold.
I recently watched the movie I Am Legend with Will Smith as the best last man on earth who only has the company of his dog, a few choiced mannequins and a whole lot of very scary mad monsters. In a nutshell, Will Smith plays clever scientist Robert Neville who is immune to a virus that has turned every woman, man and dog into vampire-like creatures. Three years after the virus outbreak he appears to be the only survivor. Robert also happens to have MacGyver AND Chuck Norris-like qualities. Mac/Chuck/Rob tries to find a cure for the virus by hunting down monsters and taking them back to his house in order to do scientifically complex tests on them. He also makes times to hunt deer on the streets of NYC, and watch a lot of DVDs. He is unbelievably lonely and goes barmy.
[Incidentally, the movie I Am Legend is based on a Richard Matheson book of the same name. Since the publication of the book in 1954 it has been adapted into film three times. The first movie (also called I Am Legend) starring Vincent Price is the only one that follows the book closely. The Will Smith version, whilst having similar themes like loneliness and creatures that hates the sunlight, doesn't quite. Although I enjoyed the Will Smith version, I found the book had the better story. But I am much too lazy to spell it all out here so go get a copy or wikipedia it.]
Anyway, ever since watching the movie I have been obsessively fantasizing about how I can turn my house into an impenetrable fortress, getting buff and being super clever.
Lest the same thing happens to me.
But of course, my fantasy is simply the product of my extravagant, unrestrained and not to mention fanciful, imagination (read, konon in my lingo). Because if a virus actually hits the earth and turns everyone into monsters and lil’ ol me just happens to be the only immune one, I would not be able to find a cure for the virus since I hate needles, blood, monsters and getting close enough to one to do “tests”, nor am I a scientist, so forget about being the ONLY hope for mankind.
Actually I think I would probably offer myself up to the monsters. You know, why be all lonesome?
I've been Facebook-ing like a motherhumper. It is rather addictive watching what your friends do. I found this on my mate Santie's profile page. I have been a lazy cow with the blogging, so here's a cut & paste for you.
FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.
FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying "Damn we fucked up, but that shit was fun!"
FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours.
FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you.
FAKE FRIENDS: Are for a while.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.
FAKE FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.
REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say "Bitch drink the rest of that you know we don't waste."
FAKE FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out.
FAKE FRIENDS: Won't send this back.
REAL FRIENDS: Will send this to you and to 10 other real friends.
By the way, I hate forwards. Although I love my friends.
After 2 and a half years of living in The Bijou Bungalow, it is time for the GoodEggs to move home. We do so with a heavy heart because there are many positive things about living in a bungalow. I thought we did ours up pretty well. There are no stairs and everything is within 20 steps away, and since we planted hedges, shrubs and trees, the garden turned out swell too. We renovated the floors, kitchen and bathrooms. Restored the old furnitures. Bobby even fashioned the pool inspired by the Amankila pools we swam in.
I have posted many a picture of the bungalow, and spoke fondly of it, so its no secret how moving from the Bungalow muchly sucks eggs. But yes party people, it has to be done.
We won't be moving far. Just across the fence. A house full of history Bobby says. We'll make it a nice home no doubt. But I will always miss the home we've made here.
Hari Raya will be different this year, with Mimi around. A different kind of good. I would still ask for forgiveness from my nearest and dearest, and offer my own, wolf down my Mommy's chocolate fork biscuits and rendang. And I would still have flat hair. But this time I have a baby on my hip.
Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir Batin folks. Remember to eat and drink too much as Raya will not be the same if you refrain. Be careful on the roads though.
Stuck at home and peering at everything using one eye has its ups and downs.
The Ups
1. Watching Channel 76 on Astro like a motherhumper. I love E! because you can watch it like a mindless zombie hooked on frivilous entertainment facts and not human blood. It makes me feel like I'm on holiday and reading light-readin' magazines like US Weekly. Except its available 24/7. I know how Drew Barrymore and Jeremy Thomas's divorce papers look like 'cos I saw it on THS: Drew Barrymore (THS stands for True Hollywood Story for all you living without cable) and if that is not a completely mindless and frivilous fact, I don't know what is.
2. On MC and thankfully not suffering from an illness that could lead to death, but still not able to go to work is kinda like being on a well-deserved holiday 'cept you're stuck at home watching E!.
3. Being able to watch teenage son like a hawk ogre, because mocks are around the corner.
4. Pulling all the stops to make Willow love me more.
The Downs
1. Being One-Eyed Emma is no fun because your eye looks freaky, everything you see is wonky and since your depth of perception is impaired, you tend to break dishes.
2. Not being AT work, but still have to DO work suck eggs (but someone's gotta do it).
3. Just not used to being Ogre Mom, nor having teenage son witness transformation.
4. Willow still treats me with a certain degree of arrogance. Even after I feed her Bobby's Secret Stash For Willow, a can of Rabbit and Venison Gourment Cat Meal.
And to answer Miracle Max's question whether I would choose The Princess Bride or a Johnny Depp filled Pirates of the Caribbean, I'd have to say if not for the presence of simpering Kiera Knightly (whom I would gladly feed to the R.O.U.S. or Rodents of Unusual Size), there might have been a fight. There's just so much hotness one can realistically take.
It's Tuesday and I look a sight. Thanks to an eye patch over my left eye courtesy of Dr N and his army of assistants over at the Eye Clinic at RIPAS. The eye patch not looking quite as sexy as a black eye-patch pirate one I (or Bobby for that matter) had envisaged, but a white cup-like thing secured by some sticky tape. I scared young children, and did not illicit Va Va Va Vooms from strangers, when walking the halls of RIPAS trying hard not to bump into walls.
Like I said, I look a sight.
And because I have been having pirate thoughts all day, it is inevitable that my thoughts go to The Princess Bride, THE pirate movie of the century. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you had better go find a copy of the film and WATCH IT.
I came home for the holidays one day in 1987 and heard my father and sisters rave about this movie they watched on Vhs. The video was rented from Popeye. For those who remember, and I bet there are not many who don't, in the late 80s Popeye was THE video rental shop in Brunei. It was where we can get the latest pirated movies on Vhs cassette, kinda like the Kedai Komunis of the now. It was my holiday movie of 1987, and my sisters and I watched it incessantly over the years. So much so that we still pepper our lingo with memorable quotes from the movie.
If there was an occasion for a funny exotic accent, we'll break into "My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." If we wanted to say something about marriage, we'll break into, "Mawage. Mawage is what keeps us together. Today." We are the Wyrd Sisters like that. The Princess Bride brings back great memories of sisterhood, and on a day when I am fumbling about silly, I wish my sisters were around.
The film, directed by Rob Reiner, is an adaptation of William Goldman's book The Princess Bride. The movie stars a young Robin Wright (before she added 'Penn' to her name) and Cary Elwes (I think the only other notable movie he did was Saw 1) as The Princess Bride and Wesley/The Dread Pirate Roberts, respectively. Even Andre the Giant (giant bad ass wrestler extraordinaire) had a part, as Fezzik the Giant. The movie has a fairy tale feel to it and superbly combines romance, adventure and comedy. After watching the debacle that is Spiderman 3 last weekend, I miss watching movies with scripts like The Princess Bride. Incidentally, I'll do an Emma's take on Spidey if I could get my act together since its taken me ages to write this post on account of being One-Eyed Emma.
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