A few nights ago Bobby and I watched this food show on the AFC. I can't remember what it's called but it was one of those shows where you win money for eating something gross on TV. It featured 2 Singaporean women hosted by a J-Pop lookalike guy. The women were asked to drink a bowl of clear soup with some bits of meat in it. After they've sipped the soup and munched the meat, the J-Pop guy then asked them to guess what soup it was. By this time both of them were looking worried and alarmed. Quite rightly so because a few minutes later he told them that they just drank LIZARD soup. Yes, LIZARD SOUP. The meaty bits? Well, those were LIZARD TOO! They were shown a similar dead lizard for extra effect and man do they look pissed. Right about then, I think the producers edited the part where the two women beat up the guy with the J-Pop hair, silly. If it was me, I would've kicked his balls too because I hate lizards.
So sometime that night I was slowly waking up to a squeamish sensation between my toes. I leapt up and yelled to a dying-of-fright Bobby who was rudely awakened by his dramatic wife, "THERE'S SOMETHING UNDER THE SHEEETS!!"
I scrambled out of the way and Bobby, not missing a beat, leapt up and started to flap the duvet over the side and then checked our matrimonial bed of slimy creatures. Thankfully there were none. By now I was feeling rather shameful because it was probably the memory of that big black lizard with the bulgy eyes being EATEN (good Lord) that made me subconsciously feel like there was one wrapping its tail around my toe.
We settled back into bed and mumbled in the dark, me shameful and Bobby whose heart rate has slowed down considerably:
Bobby: I was just dreaming I was downing that lizard soup before you did a kung-fu move in bed.
Me: I knew it was your fault.
But thank you for Phuket sweetheart, this one's for you.
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