[I subscribe to BlogHer, the community for women who blog. I know that seems a cliche but no man woman is an island. Anyway, their monthly newsletter alerted me to a community essay written by several members titled 'A Letter To Your Body'. I thought I'd do mine here.]
Dear Body,
Its been almost 6 months since you have given birth. That's not a very long time ago, considering you were growing another person in your womb for 9 months. But according to some people, you should have lost that thickened waist, fat ass, big arms and shrunk back to your pre-pregnancy weight by now. In fact, the same people suggests that you hold a JUMBLE SALE and sell off your old clothes, cos baby, it looks like you're NEVER gonna lose that weight. Its a pity that you are not an over-achiever when it comes to exercise and dieting but is one when it comes to all things frivilous. Like finishing Call of Duty on the xbox in 2 days. Or honing the ability to memorise songs in 2 shakes of a duck's tail.
So listen up. We have a beach holiday to go to in 3 weeks time. That's 21 days to get your ass in beach body beautiful shape, buddy. It seems like a tall order I know, but we must at least try. Because if not, go ahead wave the white flag and buy clothes A SIZE LARGER...'sup to you.
Now the boob area we can do with a size larger.
Cheerios and rice krispies,
Emma xx
Ps/ Because I am thinking about eating mini Cornettos, if all else fails I have Plan B: Strategically placed sarongs.
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