Cartoon snagged from here.
Dear Bun,
Last Sunday you and I were sitting on a set in a television studio, talking cock about the cyber world all the while being recorded for posterity. I honestly didn't know what I was getting us into when a man rang me in the middle of the night and asked whether I wanted to be on TV. The man said he got my number from RA (thanks RA). You'll meet RA one of these days. You would like him, everyone does, even his or her grandmothers. If you're good, you might even get on his site! Seriously. Everyone does.
Anyway, the last time I was on TV on purpose was oh...never. So it was strange why I finally said yes when there are so many reasons to say no. One reason is that the TV puts on pounds (like we need the extra pounds). Another is I always feel the urge to laugh maniacally/hysterically when attention (read: camera) is focused on a point on my face. Thankfully this did not happen, although it almost did. If you see the tape of the show later in your formative years, you will see the pain evident on Mama's face from the struggle of keeping an intelligent, if not straight, face.
The main reason that we went was because your Papa convinced me to. He said it would be a good new experience for me/us. Something I can say I have done. Which is being on TV and try to enlighten the masses. So I said yes. By the time we arrived at the studios and sat on a make-up chair with the make-up artist sculpting a bridge on my button nose using some brownish eye shadow, I was mentally sending your Papa brainwaves that said, "This. Is. A. Bloody. Stupid. Idea".
But thankfully we were not alone. We had The BFG and Clyde for company, and because they went on TV with a considerable amount of pancake powder on their faces, I didn't feel so bad with my sculpted nose.
So as your Papa puts it - Got On TV: Tick!
Love, Mama The TV Star (no not really) xx
ps/ Another form of media you have been exposed to in the womb recently is Mozart and other classical tunes. Apparently this will lead you to have a peaceful and fulfilled life. I have to confess that this kind of music makes your Mama look towards a distant horizon and makes her bum itch, so as a counter-point I always make the both of us listen to The Cure/Matchbox 20/Third Eye Blind/Dave Matthews Band (so that you will lead a peaceful, fulfilled AND quirky life). Your Aunt Babs have sent us the URL to a great site www.babyrockrecords.com that sells CDs that combines the two kind of genres. I shall buy us some of the CDs so that I don't feel guilty because I am exposing my unborn child to Public School Boy and/or Alternative Angst American music. Although could exposing an unborn child to glockenspiel music lead to problematic teenage years? I don't know man, www.babycenter.com has no answers for this type of question.
pps/ You are also exposed to your Papa's singing. For this Mama is so very sorry, but he tries you know, he tries, and he'll always make us laugh.
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