The UnManly Man

[I thought I'd let the alterego to my alterego, EmmaHardBoiledEgg, respond to Mr. Suparman for his article in last weekend's Borneo Bulletin titled For Love Or Money]

It was with disbelief I read through Suparman's (or should I say Suparwuzz) For Love Or Money article. Not for its first few paragraphs that made my flesh crawl at the thought of less committed men in our midst, but for these rather mercenary bon mots:

For example, guys like me don't mind being with a fresh graduates or government working servants with wealthy family background.

I know it does sound very choosy, but who is to complain about a lifetime supply of cash in the ATM machine and a limo to drive to work in, not to mention a nice modern house to go home to, complete with swimming pools and game rooms, like those famous stars on TV.

Slick. Real slick. But where the hell is your manhood?

What kind of man is he advocating here? Men who depend on women (or worse, their future IN-LAWS) for the niceties in life? I think I'm going to be sick.

Don't any of you dare let your sons, nephews, brothers, cousins grow up with this kind of mentality. A man should always provide for his family. We're not even talking about providing limos or swimming pools or buying 10 Chloe/LV/CD handbags in a year but just doing the very best you can for your girl. If you happen to marry an heiress, good for you. But to actively seek one whose wealthy background is to make YOUR life comfortable, then you owe an apology to all the rich girls out there, and to your mama, damn it.

The day we allow this new-age kinda "man" run rampant in our society, is the day we see our sons, nephews, brothers, cousins unable to identify their noses from their knees without the help of their women.

It has been said that if you marry for love OR money you can be happy either way. Perhaps. But Dude, if you married for money, I'd say that would make you a happy wimp.

And I would also say "Dude, where's your balls?"

Comments

[CS]

Firstly, I just started reading your blog last week but already I applauding your writing ability and choice of subjects.

Secondly, that Suparman guy is definitely spineless and has no class. I couldn't even finish reading the article... Yisssh. Being a guy, i dunno how you ladies managed to recover your weekends.

On a serious note, it's unfortunate that guys like this do exist. Ladies should beware cos they're extremely parasitic and texting on yourselves and your loved ones.

And thirdly, why does the BB Ed. even consider publishing this sort of trash?? It wasted a good weekend edition.

[Sash]

Women shouldn't be allowed to BUY their OWN ENGAGEMENT RINGS..and boyfriends should stop asking their girlfriends for $45 easi recharge cards. pui. no class.

[Bobby May]

Thanks for the great reply to this moronic article.

I've dated one of these good-for-nothing ball-less pissants (note the past tense, thank god). And you will not believe JUST how smooth they can be. They pretend to be looking for love but they're actually looking for someone to subsidise their lives.

There's a malay saying which basically means: "You didn't have the curtesy to die when you were young. Now you're old, you're just a big problem."

Somehow apt.

[Elleorna]

Emma thanks for highlighting the article!
Hang back for a moment. This is a good hint that Brunei ladies are going forward and the dudes are getting more insecure, coz it takes one ignorant writer to spell out how some men can have such narrow mentality even during these times. This is 2007 - not 1931?!

If Mr. Wonderful prioritises the lifetime supply of cash in the ATM, then let him. He's losing out. He'll never REALLY get someone with both brains AND beauty. Coz no girl with REAL brains would be crazy enough to end up with losers such as him...

[Alamak!Wani!]

(Y'know, I'm not surprised the BB let this article thru.)

What I can't believe is the gall of this Suparman advocating this screwed-up mindset. It's really amazing that he's generalizing Bruneian girls this way too e.g. high maintenance girls that have both brains and The Body. I wonder if his charm and wit really gets him anywhere.

It would make for an interesting read if 'EmmaHardBoiledEgg' wrote to the papers in response ^__^

[BorgKingKong]

Apologies for a second post, but I just wanted to add that although alot of us have said that this article is a disgrace and that it perhaps should not be published, I do applaud that BB did publish it. As we mature and grow as a society, we will be bombarded with different world views that will be very different from what we are accustomed to. Our maturity as a society will ne judged on how we debate and discuss these issues openly and in a civil manner without resorting to blanket bans and censorship of less than desirable topics.

[BorgKingKong]

P*ssywhipped is what he'll be (or is).. he probably lost his balls a long time ago after being whipped around a few times. BUT (and it is a BIG BUT) having said that though, there are world cultures (if not mistaken, Balinese culture) that afford women with more power, wealth and property, and it MAY be accepted in that culture that men serve a 'lesser' (please don't skin me for my choice of words) role in the household than is accepted as a norm in our own culture. It is a little cynical though if you think about it, that women can do exactly what Suparman has said and is accepted to a certain degree (woman marry a rich man) but men don't share the same privilege. Like I said, norms of a culture about how a man should behave and his role as the main breadwinner.

[shasha]

:O!!!!! WHAT AN AWFUL AWFUL MAN!! ka emma, you should put this man to further shame! indeed. what on earth are the editors of the BB thinking of actually printing this piece? tsk tsk tsk.

[Pablo]

hmmm.. Im not associating myself with superturdman! Emma! Pardon me.. the story he speaks is true of some men here.. getting the women to do the work while they sit at kopitiam n cafe... talking cock! Shame! Shame! So ladies... watch out for Mr Smooth Talker!

[EmmaGoodEgg]

Affy - If I had a 15 year old daughter, I would call your mama and 'book' you now :) xx

[Danura]

Tsk... Suparman's momma must not have taught him right.

[Cookie Dough]

And they wonder why so many smart Bruneian women are single???!!!

What's with the recent obsession?
http://www.brunei-online.com/weekend/news/jan13h27.htm

[my3rdeye]

Mr. Suparman is a turd.

And whoever it is in Borneo Bulletin who would allow such a sexist article to be published in an era when much women are in power, he (because I'm sure it's a he) is a moron.

The opening line was enough to make me shudder for all the girls out there who have the misfortune to be with men who do not think it disrespectful to check out other women in their vicinity.

And 'not minding' a girl for her wealthy family background? Please just die a long lonely torturous death.

'Are you satisfied with your girlfriend?'

Right, and is she satisfied with YOU? Prick.

[Natrah]

Oh emma, please oh please write an article to the paper as a reply to that ball-less man and set the record straight.

I was like,how the hell did this article even came up and got published in BB! Seriously, after i read his article i was saying like ?!@#% (malay swear words) kali eh laki2 ani!

At the same time, i prayed i won't meet/fall in love/fancy/be friends/family related/marry to this type of man, nauzubillah.

[Zmah]

Hi Emma. Witty! Me likes. I, too, was taken aback by the article. Seriously. Although it is not unusual to hear this, but to write an article about it! Man.

My fiance and I are both grads but I earn more than him. And even so, he always makes sure he's the man. Money-wise. Pay for food, pay for tickets, making sure I don't overspend my money (I can get "lost" while shopping.Haha) Thankful for that.

However, friends have told me stories about their friends(don't know the extent of the truth though) e.g. the girl earn as much as three times as what the guy earns and the guy would claim that he's free to talk/be friends with anyone he likes but he forbids the girl to interact with anyone!(You know, the "cemburu buta" type) How outrageous!

My theory is, of course the guy doesn't want to let go of the girl. She's the "money tree"! But what's more awful is that the girl KNOWS what the guy's doing behind her back but she still sticks with him because.. "oh..aku masih sayang ia..." PFFT!

But, back to the point... to answer "where's his balls?" well, it must have shrunk because he thinks that he can just lay back and let the woman becomes the "man" of the house. Sissy! You K-Fed-ex wannabe!Har har.

Ciao.

[Affy]

point taken.

[Izati]

Nice comeback emma! i salute you.. hahaha..

When i read the article itself, i shudder to think how many men out there actually think like he does.. i guess this one of the reasons why there are a growing number of young educated working ladies who aren't married..

The ladies are just too busy trying to faze out men like him! haha..

[Zippy]

Haha... I was a bit dubious when I read this article last weekend, thinking "Is this really something written by a man? For serious?"

When he wrote: "I sometimes wonder what it would be like to live rich with love or money," I was thinking "Dude... if you want a lot of money, like respect, you'd have to earn it!" Waiting for a girl who's wealthy shows just how buaya he is, and how, like you said Emma, ball-less.

He has definitely lost a lot of respect from most women who've read this article, if not all; and I'm not surprised if other men think he's a lazy bellend.

His idol must be Kevin Federline, and we all know how THAT story ended.

Someone hit this man more than one time.