EmmaGoodEgg

Lizardus Interruptus

Those who know me well enough, know that I am afraid of lizards. Be it small cicaks (lizard in Malay), or bigger hairy ones that live behind your window, biawaks (monitor lizards), Gila Monsters, even the newt. Any creature that is remotely lizard-shaped will render me a-quivering and a-squealing.

Unfortunately for me, I think the lizard and I have some weird bond. Sometimes the damn thing will scuttle across the ceiling when I'm in the bathroom. Said lizard will park itself above the door so I cannot escape. The lizard will be looking at me, and I'll be looking at it...looking at me, looking at it, looking at me and looking at it, and invariably, the little sucker will fall onto the floor NEAR MY FEET and with a burst of latent superhuman strength I end up almost on/in the sink. There was one time Xander our cat and hunter, brought home a live fat lizard and plopped it on the kitchen floor and I climbed the kitchen table in half a second (Bobby was braver...he ran into the living room and shut the kitchen door on me and the damn thing). Don't think I can't move fast when I want to.

But that was the worst of my encounters with the lizard. Until of course, one of them came swimming with me. This sure is a tale to tell.

Bobby and I were just getting into our holiday last weekend on the Island of the Gods, swimming idly and chatting in between strokes. I was thinking of very happy thoughts when Bobby suddenly asked me to get out of the pool. I'm like Hello Baby *wink, but he didn't seem to get me especially with his eyes wide open looking terrified at the direction of the bushes nearby. So I turned to look the same direction and saw a big-ass monitor lizard peeking out from beneath the red flowers shaped like mini fireworks. When the lizard amongst the flowers saw us, it quickly ducked back into the undergrowth.

But Bobby kept on saying get out get out!! and I'm like whaaaaat tell meeeee!!! I scrambled out of the pool in the most ungainly manner and stood on the deck chair and continued wailing. Bobby goes into the Villa and by this time I am terrified beyond belief but still wanting to know...you know. I'm a masochist like that.

So by now I'm sniffling what is it what is it as I get off the chair to look over the edge of the pool and what do I see? I see a long tail in the water that's what I saw. There was another big lizard and this one was doing the backstroke in the pool. It was the grossest thing in the world. Bobby called the hotel staff for help and they probably thought beloved husband was some mat-salleh who is afraid of a teeny tiny cicak but when they saw the slimy creature swimming they went, "OOOOO besar nya!!" (OOOOO that's damn big man!!)

I spy with my little eye a monitor lizard in the pool.

I think you better call for reinforcements.

Get the slimy sucker! I was yelling from afar.

Okay now I feel faint.

Bobby says he can still see it belly-flopping into the pool.

I Heart Bali

A holiday on the Island of the Gods is a firm favourite of mine. Bali is a picturesque Indonesian island steeped in culture and ceremonies, dances and temples, mountains and beaches, and a mere two-hour flight away, so it is an easy pick for the husband and I. We imbibe in some culture and we spend hours doing nothing but lie in a bale by the beach or the mountains.

Prior to the tragic Bali Bombings of 2002 and 2005, Bali was seen as a party place where the bir bintangs are cheerfully cheap. Australians who make up a fair number of the tourists that flock to Bali, suffered the most casualties in the tragedies. Since then the number of Aussie tourists have dropped. In an effort to coax them back, a group of tour operators in Bali have come up with a spoof of Australia's rather unique advert 'Where The Bloody Hell Are You?' made in support of the Australian tourism industry.

The spoof called 'Where The Bali Hell Are You?' features the familiar sight in the Balinese hotel industry of a local man in a white top and a sarong telling the Aussies that the, "Dutch are wearing your bloody thongs, the Germans are surfing in your bloody waves, the Italians are drinking your bloody beer...so where the Bali hell are you?" According to the article in The Jakarta Post Online by Australian born architect Michael White (who shows his love for the island by taking on the Balinese name of Made Wijaya), the spoof was co-produced by a local tour operator Ketut Swarmadyasa and Australian Brett Morgan and New Zealander Martin Hubbeling and the actors were made up of Australian surfers and local tour guides. Excellently done with tongue-in-cheek good intention and humour set in a boy's holiday, the Balinese and Australians show just how friendly they can be.

I'm there man, I'm there.

Rest In Peace Father Brown

James Brown died earlier today on Christmas Day at a hospital in Atlanta. He was 73. The Telegraph reported that he was brought to a hospital because of pneumonia and his cause of death has not been confirmed. He was often recognised as the Godfather of Soul, and had an influence on other genres like rap, disco and RnB. The man had a troubled personal life, at times behaving rather badly (a notable example was when he engaged in a car chase with the police) but he was very much the swell entertainer with his indomitable style and colourful outfits together with his famous 'shifty feet' vigorous dance moves. Along with his super funky music and his blackest black bouffant hairdo, I will fondly remember him for that raspy expletive Woooow! in one of his signature songs, I feel Good.

Doesn't he make you want to sing along?

Happy Christmas & A Merry New Year

Nessie & Bessie: The Chicest Orangutans In Town

After months of praying that it won't all be sold out because we were patiently waiting for the Christmas Sales that finally came, Diva D hightailed it out to visit Anya yesterday afternoon and came home with our Orangutans.

We are Borneo Isle Girls after all; we love a good discount, and we love our island's endangered species.

Diva D, Nessie and Bessie wishing everyone a Merry Merry Christmas!

A Plug For AquaSurf

For more details, contact 880002 or email [email protected]

Show & Tell At Kitten Lunch

I heart Thursdays for as you know, Thursday means lunch with the girlies. Yesterday the girls and I met at Manjaro in Kiulap. Manjaro has a swell cosy first floor dining area called The Living Room so we had lunch upstairs. The restaurant is run by affable and good-looking Bruneian couple Priscilla and Wuei, who have a steady following of family, homeys and patrons that enjoy the different vibe Manjaro offers to the public. From their own interpretation-with-a-twist of cafe classics like the chilli chicken chop which did not look like your usual chicken chop because the chicken itself was chopped, and then stir-fried with dried chillies (Nings said that the dish grows on you fast), to the lively comfortable atmosphere and their choice of laminated articles in the bathroom, they both make Manjaro quite unlike any other restaurant in town.

Nings brought along for lunch her dear friend Shaz aka Hardcore Scrapper (mess with her and she'll glue ribbons on your arm) who flew in from KL with her kids and hubby to spend Christmas with her folks in Brunei. Shaz is nicknamed H.S. because she loves scrapbooking. In two months she opens Scrapping Ville, her own scrapbook store at Bangsar Shopping Center in Kuala Lumpur. [I would have nicknamed Shaz, No Pores, because that's what she has, no pores and smooth-as-a-baby's-bottom skin.] Nings is an avid scrapbooker too and is glad that Shabby Chic at The Mall has opened in Brunei to satisfy her scrapbooking needs. Fab Frankie, who deals with Russians (so don't mess with her too), also joined us for a good girlie lunch filled with talks of holidays and hobbies and weddings.

6 Kittens minus Ms DJ and DeeT plus Shaz and Frankie (who took this picture with her phone) equals 6 Handbags

Ho Ho Ho And Ho

Christmas is near and Janice Dickinson brings some cheer. Janice is famous for proclaiming herself America's First Supermodel, accusing Sylvester Stallone of being the father of her child (which paternity tests soon prove otherwise) and bedding Warren Beatty, Jack Nicolson and Mick Jagger to name a few. She was also a judge on Tyra Bank's America's Next Top Model and have written a book called "Everything About Me Is Fake...And I'm Perfect". I think she should have given the book this title instead: Everything About Me Is Fake...And I'm Perfect As A Drag Queen.

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America For Make Benefit Glorious Nation Of Kazakhstan

Bobby has been threatening to watch Borat for weeks, and we finally got a rather good copy (if you can excuse the spanish subtitles when the characters speak Kazakh) from the DVD shop in Gadong Jalan Sultan, so on Saturday night Borat, a reporter from Kazakhstan graced our screen. Borat is played by Sacha Baron Cohen, who is Ali G. I watched Ali G so I thought I knew what was coming. And there was his usual brand of duping the person he interviews, together with the usual slapstick. But there was one part of the movie when he really did not need to do that. Not with a fat man's wobbly hairy ass. My eyes My eyes! But you need to see it to believe it. The slapstick in this movie sure packs a wallop.

The movie begins with Borat in the former Soviet Republic of Kazakhstan behaving absurdly badly as a loyal citizen of the country. He loves to sunbathe in my goodness a lime green thong bathing suit! Sacha Baron spares no one. There are Jewish jokes, Iraq War jokes, the physically challenged, even incestuous ones. He is married to a large dour woman and has three boys (one of which is from his sister). He is the 4th best reporter in the country and he gets an assignment to go to America and learn about its culture. His fat producer Azamat goes along with him. When in America his wife dies back home (through no fault of his but he was ecstatic) and he is free to pursue the woman of his dreams, Pamela Anderson. Borat and Azamat takes us on a journey across America to find Pam. Along the way, Borat meets a bunch of not-so-nice people in the form of the American public who goes on camera and spew bigotry (the rodeo owner), act like an ass (the frat boy) and uptight feminism (the uptight feminists). He meets Pam but is thus disillusioned, not because those boobs aren't real, but the frat boy showed him the infamous Pam and Tommy Lee's Sexcapades on a Boat.

There are parts of the movie that must be incredibly offensive to some people but in Borat, you tend to appreciate that everyone gets offended, so its okay to laugh a bit. And if the Academy has an award for the Most Selfless Act by an actor, the Oscar goes to Sacha Baron Cohen and Ken Davitian, who will win it hands-down with that wrestling scene.

Watch it, if you're not a sensitive soul.

Feeling Down? Saddle Up

Public horse riding is back in Brunei. The BEQ Equestrian Centre has been in operation for about 6 months. The place looks and smells clean.

You can take riding lessons in the open air paddock (or an indoor school).

"The best thing for the inside of a man, is the outside of a horse" - Theodore Roosevelt

You say hello to a horse by blowing into its nose.

A horse called Bluetooth.

Horse riding for the public is available again at BEQ Equestrian Centre, Jerudong Park. It's a smaller operation than previously, but at least the horses look healthier, the stables smells better and there is a warm welcoming air about the place.

For beginners (members) you can expect to pay B$30 for a lunging lesson (or B$80 for 4 sessions). This is when you are taught the basics. Once you have learnt the basics, you can choose to have private lessons with a trainer at B$40 per session or B$140 for 4 sessions. There is also a senior trainer who gives private lessons at B$50 per session or B$180 for 4. The horses are trained for dressage, show-jumping or leisure riding along the beach. For young children pony riding is being offered.

Contact Ms. Lani
@ BEQ Equestrian Centre
Block E, Royal Stables
Jerudong Park
Tel: 2611898
Fax: 26117788
HP: 8750818
Email: [email protected]