EmmaGoodEgg

Ted's Awful Truth

Ted C. rawks.  From eonline.com:

Dear Ted:
If Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston were to have a conversation today, how do you think it would go? You seem very pro-Angelina, but Jen fans such as myself sympathize with what she has to go through every day.
  April D.
  Newark, Delaware

Dear Pro-Jen:
Me, too. But she had a part in this marriage bustup, too, doll-face, don't forget. As to your other query, here's my prediction...

Scene: 

Women's restroom of the Kodak Theater at the 2008 Academy Awards. Brad and Angelina, both goodwill ambassadors to most of the world's more chic fundraising organizations, are presenting Best Foreign Language Film. 

Jennifer got wise and finally played a hooker in a remake of Pretty Woman and has received her first Oscar nomination.

Angelina comes out of the stall with toilet paper stuck to her spike heel--shades of Christine Lahti--while on the phone with a tantrum-throwing Maddox and sees Aniston, whom she has not seen since the big breakup: "Oh, hey."

Jennifer: " 'Oh, hey'? You get all cozy with my husband while the world watches, and all you have to say to me is, 'Oh, hey?' No wonder I'm up for a leading Oscar and you never will be.

Angelina is dumbfounded in her stunning décolleté couture, as Jennifer, in a flattering new brunet shag, exits grandly: "Don't you have someone to adopt?"

That do it for you, April?

----------------------------

Hilarious!

Emma.  Now going back to work.

xx

Late Lunch @ My Desk...

I am so liking Aminah Arif's Nasi Goreng Kampung at the moment, with its anchovies and chicken and kangkong.  I got it delivered to my office but aiyo, you guys forgot my soup and soy sauce and cut chillies!  That's like, not on man.

And whilst I ate, I also:

* laughed out loud at all 231 comments made at this Bastardly post. 

* stumbled upon this super site which ships internationally!

* realised that I miss my black Ulla Ninewest ballet flats terribly.

* emailed my sister regarding dinners and lunches.

* answered a call from my Buzz.

I am the ultimate multi-tasker.

Emma.  Going back to work.

xx

AJumbleOfThoughts.com

1.  The husband et moi going to SG this weekend.  Just a short trip for SP's birthday.  V good.  Dinner at Iggy's.  I can't wait.  And of course, Sunday Shampoo Brunch which lasts for a good 3-4 hours with good friends.  Wootwoot!

2.  Kate's gone and got herself hitched now dint she??  The tart.  No... The savvy-marketeer...

3.  The devilish me.  I want to be you.

4.  I want this.

But not right now...I'm quite the happy egg that I am.

Emma.  Musing.

Darth Krooz

May the Force be with you Oprah Wan Kenofrey.

"Tom..ermm...Tom..ermmm...TOM ermmM", muses EmmaYoda.  "Oh why wHY...?"

Emma.  Not a very good Yoda.  Evidently.  Out.

xx

Invasion Iowa?

I don't know about this show...

Captain T (for Tiberius, hawhaw) Kirk, what the hell happened to you?  You had Uhuru for a mate for fuck's sake.  Okay when Google-d you actually have a DISCOGRAPHY.... but Invasion Iowa?  You needn't stoop so low Captain.  You had Star Trek!  That's more than the average Joe-Celebrity would have in a lifetime.  Oh you big bully.  Shame on you.  Apologise to the good people of Iowa.

Finally, greed makes you look like this folks:

Beam me out of this madness Scotty.  *zzzzzmmppphng.

Emma (such a sensitive soul).  Disappears.

xx

Lunch Time Blogging

"It is not pink."

- Renault's boss Flavio Briatore said, when asked how he saw Formula One's future in the US.

The husband alerted me to the US Grand Prix fiasco this morning.  I used to be quite an F1 fan (a Schumacher-Ferrari fan no less) until Michael started giving me the heebee-jeebies for acting so robotic in the pursuit of winning.

After reading this, I am appalled at the state of F1 these days.  There were room for compromises, but none happened and the fans threw bottles on the track when only 6 cars raced the US Grand Prix.  And Schumacher won (no surprises here) his first Grand Prix of the year. 

I smell something Stepford.

Emma. Zooms-Zooms away in disgust.

And Whilst I Surfed...

this gem caught my eye:

From TheSun. 

Mr. Cruise, you were in a class of your own.  Up there perhaps just below Keanu Reeves.  Everytime you made a movie, I would sit back and think why did I ever think Joshua Jackson was deserving to be elevated to my Crush-Of-The-Month status and forget about you?

And Katie?  You were on your way to becoming great.  I hope you still are.  I like to think you are wise and do what most women (and I suspect, men) would have done given half the bloody chance.  We want to look into that megawatt smile and coyly say, "You can be my wingman anytime".  And evidently, we think the same way about Pacey, girlfriend.

Still, there's the double openings to consider.  Perhaps only in our increasingly cynical world would we think that two people who look so happy in love are faking it simply to boost ticket sales.  Everytime we see a new TomKat in the media, even the good people of the world would think - Those grins and p.d.a's folks!   They look like mugging it to me, whaddya think eh?

And what do I think about all this?  Alas, I am after all a cynical cow. 

She's a beard, Katie is.  Goodnight folks.

Emma "Flying Cow" GoodEgg.  Over and out.

xx

Mr & Mrs Smith...

myumyum.  But I digress.  Here's my review:

Five thumbs up for simply being a good movie to enjoy.  Despite, or maybe, because, it is full of beautiful shots of these two very beautiful human beings...

Throughout the lips, biceps, bullets and Vince Vaughn (always a gem), two thoughts kept on going through my head: 

1. Would I do Brad or Angelina? ...and,

2. Oh Jen Aniston, you poor pet.

Emma.  Was at the Movies.

xx

p.s.  Both.  Alone or together.  I aint' choosy when it comes to Brad and Angelina.

Back From Hiatus

and this post is dedicated to all the things that are strange, weird and wonderful in this world we call home...

Tommy Lee Goes To College.

A new reality "summer" tv show.

But what can I say folks, cos don't you suddenly have a smile on your face?

Emma over.  For now.  I hope.