Last weekend I found myself in the midst of weary bleary-eyed men and got a lowdown of what happens on a stag weekend in Labuan. Yes, that's right party people, a stag weekend in Labuan.
All ears for a possible fly-on-the-wall post, I tried to pry like a woman and listened to Bobby's tale:
Bobby: So we rented a car to drive around the island and the car rental company handed over the grungiest Proton Wiras they had in their inventory. It was dirty and smelled, and didn’t have a full tank of petrol. Well, for RM70 what did we expect eh?
Me: Right, it smelled of what?
Bobby: It was just dirty and on its last wheels. Anyway, on our last day we were running late and had to be at the ferry by 1.00pm. We were supposed to leave the hotel by 11.30am but we dawdled over breakfast so we left an hour later. We were in a bit of a hurry lah.
Me: So did anybody make it on stage last night?
Bobby, ignoring me and in a ‘griping the wheels of a shaking race car’ pose: I gunned the Wira down the Labuan roads, cranking the engine, with SP and MatBon in the car. Ari and the others were in separate cars a few minutes behind. We had this running joke whenever we saw a cyclist we’d say, “How many points for the cyclist? Heh Heh Heh.”
Me: I cannot believe nobody brought the house down in Labuan.
Bobby, still in his pose, eyes wild: So there we were careening down the road, turning this way and that, around corners, pointing out to cyclists heh heh heh, followed by Is It Your Grandfather's Road? when suddenly Matbon goes, “Dude. The car’s on fire.”
[And SP, who was in the car with Bobby and I when Bobby was telling this story, snickered.]
Me, wide-eyed: What??
Bobby: And we're like oh my God! There was smoke coming out of the air condition vents, and there was this smell of something burning! So we screeched to a halt in front of a bus stop, got out in a hurry and tried to call Ari who was driving the other car but oh no! He's taking the scenic route!! Gaaah!
SP, a man of few words: It’s true.
Me: You got to be fucking kidding me.
Bobby, arms flailing: So we came to a screeching halt in front of this bus stop, got out of the car, threw the boot open and grabbed our bags. There was this young kid hanging about the bus stop idly watching 3 men in the face of a potentially exploding vehicle, so I took out my wallet and said, “Hey kid. Here’s 10 dollars. If this car explodes and burst into flames, call Bomba.”
I had no idea Labuan could be such a happening place.
Ps/ Anyway, the car rental company was kinda expecting it. The boys returned the cars and got on the boat on time.