Lizardus Interruptus

Those who know me well enough, know that I am afraid of lizards. Be it small cicaks (lizard in Malay), or bigger hairy ones that live behind your window, biawaks (monitor lizards), Gila Monsters, even the newt. Any creature that is remotely lizard-shaped will render me a-quivering and a-squealing.

Unfortunately for me, I think the lizard and I have some weird bond. Sometimes the damn thing will scuttle across the ceiling when I'm in the bathroom. Said lizard will park itself above the door so I cannot escape. The lizard will be looking at me, and I'll be looking at it...looking at me, looking at it, looking at me and looking at it, and invariably, the little sucker will fall onto the floor NEAR MY FEET and with a burst of latent superhuman strength I end up almost on/in the sink. There was one time Xander our cat and hunter, brought home a live fat lizard and plopped it on the kitchen floor and I climbed the kitchen table in half a second (Bobby was braver...he ran into the living room and shut the kitchen door on me and the damn thing). Don't think I can't move fast when I want to.

But that was the worst of my encounters with the lizard. Until of course, one of them came swimming with me. This sure is a tale to tell.

Bobby and I were just getting into our holiday last weekend on the Island of the Gods, swimming idly and chatting in between strokes. I was thinking of very happy thoughts when Bobby suddenly asked me to get out of the pool. I'm like Hello Baby *wink, but he didn't seem to get me especially with his eyes wide open looking terrified at the direction of the bushes nearby. So I turned to look the same direction and saw a big-ass monitor lizard peeking out from beneath the red flowers shaped like mini fireworks. When the lizard amongst the flowers saw us, it quickly ducked back into the undergrowth.

But Bobby kept on saying get out get out!! and I'm like whaaaaat tell meeeee!!! I scrambled out of the pool in the most ungainly manner and stood on the deck chair and continued wailing. Bobby goes into the Villa and by this time I am terrified beyond belief but still wanting to know...you know. I'm a masochist like that.

So by now I'm sniffling what is it what is it as I get off the chair to look over the edge of the pool and what do I see? I see a long tail in the water that's what I saw. There was another big lizard and this one was doing the backstroke in the pool. It was the grossest thing in the world. Bobby called the hotel staff for help and they probably thought beloved husband was some mat-salleh who is afraid of a teeny tiny cicak but when they saw the slimy creature swimming they went, "OOOOO besar nya!!" (OOOOO that's damn big man!!)

I spy with my little eye a monitor lizard in the pool.

I think you better call for reinforcements.

Get the slimy sucker! I was yelling from afar.

Okay now I feel faint.

Bobby says he can still see it belly-flopping into the pool.

Comments

[aunidayini]

Hi Emma, I was and still am gross out by lizards... to the extent I cried when I was dissecting house lizards in My chordates class (ewww).. however, if you must know lizard has the most beautiful heart... scarlet colour, with the shape of a perfect heart... yep the ones that you get in those valentines day cards... our heart? complicated...and slightly angled to the left side ;)

[G-`FerRo]

.. tapi at least .. inda membari watir .... membagi ijab lagi BUAYA di jalan ah ... ahaks ...

[Rosie]

*cringes*

anywaysss thanks for the 'garden' party babe.. *hugs* i loveee ur houseee.... And hopefullly u dont have one of those lizards swimming in ur pool hehe

[kantalensa]

i'm really amazed that you or someone still have the time to grab a camera to document the event. i met eye to eye with a cobra once and totally forgot that i have a camera phone, let alone thinking of grabbing my cam.

[brukiosk]

That is one overgrown lizard, wonder how big of a sound it makes? ;)

[mamalobengs]

I'm with you all the way gurrrlll!! I absolutely hate lizards and all their first cousins, saudara-mara jauh mahupun dekat and yang sewaktu dengannya! I think the word hate does not even describe how I feel about them *emosi emosi*... And as for that HUGE BIAWAK.. Shaaaiiitttsss.. Bediria segala bulu2 yang ada!!! arrrrrrrr....

[UcingItam]

*Cringes* one twice as big trespassed our lawn last 2 weeks

[danura]

holy molieeee! if that happened to me id be traumatised for life! and i didnt know they're the water kind as well! ikut lounging in the pool, hehe.. see ya tomorrow! danura.

[EmmaGoodEgg]

I was traumatised! I shudder even to step at the tiles where the monster was plopped down by the hotel staff! But Eleanor, Bobby went back in later in the afternoon, although I didn't. I did however exorcised my lizardy demons and ventured in the next day albeit gingerly (and Bobby had to walk around and made noises by the bushes) but it was very very brave of me to do so. I can't bear to imagine what would happen if Bobby didn't see the monster belly-flop into the pool and I was swimming merrily AND!!!!! ARRGGGHHHH!

[Eleanor]

That was very entertaining! E, btw, did you and Bobby go back into the pool after the traumatic incident?

[Strictly B]

OMG OMG OMG!!! freaky!!!!!!!! nice pool btw :)

[sj]

eeeuuuu!if that was me, i wud be traumatised. hate lizards!..all of them.mcm nda lagi tu the dude holding the biawak.ee.

[AnakBrunei]

Jeeeez!!! What a huge biawak! Tekirik kirik ku meliat eh!!! Well, it certainly gives credence to the generally "back to nature" theme of holiday resorts and spas in Bali.

[Katie-Ella]

Yikes!

[Nonnie]

OMG!!! That's really big, and gross! I bet you're going to have the phobia of swimming in pools.